Carol Blymire on Paula Deen: "After a minute or two of scenes from the chefpartment, they suit up and head to the Top Chef kitchen, where the evil Paula Deen awaits. Padma calls her 'the queen of southern cooking,' and I try not to punch my TV screen. More like the Queen of Heart Disease, Type 2 Diabetes, and Morbid Obesity. You want a queen of southern cooking, you need look no further than Nathalie Dupree. End of story"
Monkeys as Critics on hair: 'So, time for tasting. Paula immediately likes Richard because he not only made fried mayo, but his hair looks like what hers looks like when she wakes up in the morning. Richard’s basking in the glow of Paula’s love when he hears Mike explaining 'his' recipe. Richard is not feeling so warm and fuzzy anymore."
My Monkey Could Do That on acting like an adult: "Antonia says it’s not cool that Mike won by default and then on top of that it wasn’t his dish. Richard I guess won’t look at Mike and is basically ignoring him. For some reason Mike feels he can be offended by this, because it’s childish. You have no room to talk, seriously. He doesn’t want to talk to your stupid ass, so he’s ignoring you. Seems pretty grownup to me."
Buddy TV on social consciousness: "Then John Besh, some crazy-amazing New Orleans chef walks in to announce the Elimination Challenge. The show is getting all socially conscious -- now the cheftestants will provide Gulf Coast seafood for a Gulf of Mexico benefit. And we get the eliminated cheftestants to help out! The remaining chefs aren't so thrilled about this."
Jordan Baker on the other guest judge: "Padma says that John Besh will be joining them at the judges’ table for the elimination round, and he enters the room. Richard points out that this “kinda ups the ante a little bit,” presumably because they have more of a personal stake in cooking for one of the premiere restaurateurs in New Orleans than some woman who cackles while using a novelty egg separator on television."
Eater on Mike's thought process: "Isabella has this thought process, which he is shameless about verbalizing: 'I saw a picture in Richard's book this morning of a chicken oyster served in an oyster shell, and I saw Dale doing an oyster, and people do fried chicken, so probably nobody is going to serve a chicken oyster, which I'll put in a shell, exactly like Richard showed me.' Isabella! You are a thief. Won't you even look Richard in the eye? You owe him that much."
Cliffieland on helpers: "Cue the last six eliminated chefs, Tiffani, Spike, Marcel, Tre, Fabio and Angelo, who then enter the kitchen carrying aloft plates of raw, non-petroleum-based Gulf ingredients. The remaining chefs will have to pick an ingredient and a former competitor to serve as their sous chef. The catch? The ingredient and the chef come as a package deal."
Reality TV Calendar on premonitions: "Richard has said that he is worried that Angelo won’t have his head in the game having just been eliminated. He may be right. Angelo can be moody and he took his elimination hard. But he’s a professional, so … we shall see."
Minxeats on NY epidemics: "The next day, there are too many people in the kitchen for Dale's taste. Funny that there used to be 18 people in there cooking, and now twelve is too many. He says he thought he got rid of some of his competition, but now they're back - like bedbugs."
David Dust on partnerships: "The teams seem to be getting along fine, except for Tiffany and Marcel (of course). Marcel is obsessed with shrimp heads (I guess because he has one), but Tiffany just wants to finish. Which is probably the reaction of every female who has ever 'teamed up' with Marcel. 'Just let this be FINISHED quickly ... I pray to you, dear Paula Deen Lord'"
Fork in the Road on the Bottom Three: "At the fuzzy end of the lollipop stick are Carla, Tiffany, and Dale. Carla's dish "didn't make any sense" to Paula, who was also disappointed by Tiffany's shrimp. 'I love haids on shrimp because I know I'm gonna be suckin' on that haid,' she says, as the judges avert their eyes and the FCC heaves a collective sigh. And Dale, of course, was hijacked by those damn potatoes and flavors that made the dish, in Tom's words, 'taste like a hot dog.'"
Max the Girl is bad at predicting the future: "And then a funny thing happens on the way to Tiffany’s last hurrah. It goes to Dale instead. Yes, Dale, who won, like, a bajillion challenges. Dale, whose new film Cook Angry starring Nicolas Cage will be coming soon to a theater near you. Dale, who I boldly picked to be in the Top 3, along with Antonia and Richard."