Max the Girl on jammies: "Richard, who apparently sleeps in the latest from the K-Fed sleepwear collection, wakes up Mike, who, in a cruel twist of fate, sleeps topless. (I wish I could say that this will be the last time the words 'Mike' and 'topless' are used in the same sentence in this blog, but I just can’t lie like that.)"
Reality TV Calendar on Antonia strikes again: "Mike reminds us that Antonia is known as the black hammer. Pair with her and you go home. Well, not every time, Mike but you are right. It does happen."
My Monkey Could Do That on commercials: "Oh look, a commercial for 'Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen.' Shut up, Marcel."
Monkeys as Critics on this season's challenges: "The next morning, the chefs go down to a dock where Padma greets them in a bikini and a carefully placed post-baby wrap. The little crappy boat she stands next to will take them to a deserted island. They will have to make a nice lunch. I repeat, on a deserted island. Sooooo, 'Survivor' meets 'Top Chef.' Really? I’m getting a little sick of the ridiculous challenges, to be honest. I don’t want to go to a restaurant at which a chef has done an admirable job with a live eel, a container of Sterno and fourteen toothpicks, so I’d like the winner of 'Top Chef' to be someone who does impressive work in a kitchen with all the appropriate accessories."
Carol Blymire on cooking on the beach: "They find crates of fresh spiny lobster, snapper, grouper, and learn they have to snorkel for their conch. We then move to a montage of them snorkeling and diving for conch that look like they were probably placed there by Pappy’s Fish ’N’ Tackle just a few minutes before. Blais and Tiff struggle on their dives, while Antonia navigates the water with ease. They have an open-fire grill on which to cook. Blais says, 'No liquid nitrogen, so it’s like survivalist cooking' which just cracks me up. Only you, Richard. Only you."
Cliffieland on conch: "While they chik-chik-chik way at the conch, Mike shows us that he's even one-up on Richard in knowing that dropping the shell in hot water gets the conch to let go and slip out easily. Oddly, no one else seems to catch on to this."
Jordan Baker on yacht clubs: "The judges and yacht club members stroll up, all dressed in white. Also, all ACTUALLY white, which says something unsettling about the makeup of this yacht club as compared to the actual ethnic makeup of the Bahamas as a whole."
David Dust on flirting: "Did you see Padma flirting with the 'Commodore'? Someone should have informed Ms. Lakshmi that he was NOT a member of 'The Commodores' (below) and doesn't have 'Brick House' and 'Three Times A Lady' money in the bank. In the immortal words of Kanye West ... 'I ain't sayin' she a gold-digger...'"
A Just Recompense on Richard: "He interviews that he feels added pressure because he lost his season. He knows the gravity of this. Richard, honey, everyone lost. That’s the point. I think he means he was actually in the finals, and he’s the only one left who made it to the very last episode. Still, it’s a stupid comment. Why is Richard being stupid all of a sudden? Is it the tropical air?"
Don't forget to listen to the ever-entertaining Creative Loafing Top Chef Podcast!